Most people think anger/ rage/frustration are negative feelings. Well, they might feel bad when we first experience them, but these feelings are all just energy. This means they can be transformed into positive action, positive experience. HOW?
you might ask.
The first step is to acknowledge the emotion without judgement. Then look at the hurt-like feeling underneath which could be: feeling disrespected, abandoned, afraid, sad, or many other hurt-like emotions. Yes, I am using “emotion” and “feeling” in this context, as similar words.
Then, try to figure out what is missing or making you mad. Try to articulate it to the person who is upsetting you, using assertive language skills. Usually people listen to assertive people (not the same as aggressive people). If they don’t listen, then you negotiate…..
Sometimes people are not accessible to your feedback and it is no used talking to them at all…but not usually. Often people make excuses saying so and so is not open, when really they are afraid to be assertive. If the difficulty can not be solved this way, then some other changes in your life might need to occur.
Always remember MINDFULNESS MEDITATION as a potential foundation for all therapies. With these two skills, ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION and MINDFULNESS MEDITATION, one can become much calmer and more empowered. Then anger becomes a MESSENGER, telling us something is wrong and we have to do something to change the situation.